Who hasn’t wished to master their emotions, to better control themselves and positively influence their environment? Yet there’s a less obvious reality: strict emotional management is an illusion. The good news, however, is that it’s entirely possible to live a peaceful, happy and balanced life, without needing to dominate them.
Should you be afraid of your emotions?
Most people who want to control their emotions are actually trying to avoid reactions that are deemed “inappropriate”: not crying, not getting angry, not over-defending themselves. However, it’s important to stress that emotions are not enemies to be controlled or ignored. Far from being weaknesses, emotions are our body’s natural and essential reactions.
What is an emotion?
An emotion is first and foremost a physical response to a thought or event. For example, when faced with an unexpected or frightening situation, the body reacts instinctively to prepare to flee or defend itself. Emotions often manifest themselves in three phases:
- Fear: An immediate reaction, it triggers the alert to escape a potential danger.
- Anger: When we feel oppressed or frustrated, it mobilizes our energy to fight back.
- Sadness: This comes into play when we experience lack, allowing us to digest the loss or absence.
These emotions are not problems to be avoided, but messages from our bodies, signs of our vitality.
The four main families of emotions
Emotions can be grouped into four main categories:
- Fear: includes feelings such as distrust, doubt or caution.
- Sadness: expressed in grief, nostalgia or empathy.
- Anger: manifested as pride, aggressiveness or disdain.
- Joy: generates enthusiasm, euphoria or even spontaneous chatter.
Emotions become problematic when their intensity is disproportionate or when they arise for no apparent reason. They can then generate inappropriate behaviors, such as losing one’s temper in a stressful situation.
Managing your emotions, or rather… understanding them
Since emotions are triggered by our thoughts, it’s possible to act upstream. For example, the more we dwell on a sad thought, the more sadness intensifies. If we dwell on upset thoughts, anger increases. The key, therefore, lies not in suppressing emotions, but in choosing thoughts that elicit more appropriate, positive reactions.
Listen to and welcome your emotions
The true mastery of emotions lies in listening and welcoming. It couldn’t be simpler: just pay attention, without trying to analyze everything.
Practical exercise: Welcoming emotions through breathing
- Sit comfortably, with your back straight but not stiff.
- Breathe calmly, observing the natural movement of your belly and ribcage.
- Let the thoughts appear and review them without judging them. Stay centered without getting carried away.
In the beginning, five minutes is enough. Gradually, you can increase the duration of this practice, and discover the comfort that this “mental pause” brings.
With practice, this exercise becomes a return to yourself, an inner refuge where you can calmly welcome your emotions. By cultivating this personal space, you’ll have a place of peace and rejuvenation, accessible at any time to help you regain your equilibrium.
Inhale, exhale… Breathe.
Daphne Just Breathe
